Opposite's Attract
by PyroManiacMoments
Summary: One drunken night Kiba,Naruto,Sasuke and Lee have an idea why not set Sakura up with Itachi one forged love note and one pair of strawberry print under wear later all hell breaks lose. non-masacare. And friendly Akatsuki, insures for madness and ROMANCE!
1. Prologue

Yeah my computer died and my email and fanfiction passwords were wipe thus making me unable to update any of my stories I made a new page as you can see i also made a promise to myself I'd never leave a story unfinished so come hell or high water Minimum Ride is going to complete her stories (and now I've turned into Toby speaking in third person *sigh*) I may edit some stuff because I've developed a new more mature writing style don't worry the humour won't die just the grammatically messed up errors (hopefully). So here we go _again._

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><p>Sakura Haruno strode purposefully to ichiraku's.<p>

Short fuchsia hair was being lifted playfully by the light breeze, her avocado green eyes blazed with righteous anger.

Her pale fist clenched in an attempt to substitute for Naruto's face and failed miserably.

She quickened her pace when she targeted the blond. Who happened to be sitting with his orange clad back to her.

Totally oblivious to his oncoming doom, much like his raven haired team-mate, Naruto continued inhaling his ramen swinging his feet childishly on the stool next to Sasuke who persisted on picking at his food.

Until the two Anbu were yanked backwards off the wooden stools by the scruff of the neck.

Dangling helplessly, the two boys had known this was coming eventually but were taken by surprise none the less.

"So….." Sakura began sweetly, "You to Kiba and Lee got drunk last night huh." she questioned in masked anger.

The boys could see the malicious intent in her crazed grin and nodded shakily in unison.

"And you felt the need to not only steal my underwear but to send it to **ITACHI FREAKING** UCHIHA!" she spat. "And along with a love note declaring my alleged feelings for him" she ground out with barely concealed rage.

Again they nodded, she discarded them on the side walk in a conveniently positioned puddle.

"I'm not going to touch you" she stated calmly, after having a last minute epiphany.

You could practically see the question marks above their heads.

"Because…" she drawled, "I'm going to tell Mikoto-san"

"You wouldn't… your bluffing" Sasuke said shakily standing up and detangling himself from Naruto fear of his mother seaming impaired him when it came to his stealth skills.

The grin was back "Oh yes I would and you know it" and with that she spun on her heel and was gone in the direction of the Uchiha compound.

Leaving the two of them to make their funeral arrangements.

Sakura getting angry was bad and painful… but getting Mikoto-san angry meant a fate worse than death.

She didn't need a sharingan to torture you with your deepest fears for hours.

Sasuke has one scary mom.

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><p><strong>With Itachi<strong>

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><p>For once in his life Itachi Uchiha, the prodigy, the genius was at a loss of what to do.<p>

As he examined the strawberry print underwear that undoubtedly belonged to his brother's cute team mate along with that ridiculous note.

That he decided to read again for good measure it had to be a trick of some kind because if it was true and if his mother discovered this he would be married to Haruno by the end of the week, she loved that girl and wanted her to be in the Uchiha family at all costs.

_Dear Tachi-chan_

_I can no longer contain my feelings for you or I may erupt into a huge chorus of love and write you a symphony of desire!_

_I am madly, blindly and __**desperately**__ in love with you. And now you finally know I wish to marry you and bear your children and we can live together by the beach in a blue house with lots of children…_

Itachi wrinkled his nose it all went downhill from there and in oddly detailed description.

He paced in his room and asked himself the only quest one could ask them self's after reading a note like that, what the hell should he do now?

Sure he'd gotten underwear before as the hidden leaf's strongest and most attractive shinobi he was bound to among other things...

His pacing stopped and you could almost see the proverbial light bulb above his head light up above genius his head.

He finally knew what to do the only person who could help him was his dear cousin Shisui Uchiha one of the biggest 'players' in Konoha or so his self proclaimed title went.

This was going to be interesting.

He thought walking out of the main houses front door only to collide with a certain pink haired medic.

Not bothering to turn around she called an apology over her shoulder and dashed into the main house her pink hair twirling behind her as she pranced into his house slamming the door behind her.

Yes, this was going to be very interesting indeed.

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><p>Only a few minor changes Bless your face and review!<p> 


	2. Just You Watch Uchiha!

Sooo here ya go and all those who support this story I loves you and cherish you lovely reviews so the next update will be lightning speed as long I get about ummmm three reviews this is not a demand just a friendly suggestion (backed up with a baseball bat lol) Get reading kiddies and don't forget to review (if you want to!)

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><p>I burst into the main houses kitchen ever-so dramatically, undoubtedly earning myself an array red-eyes glares along the my way.<p>

I found her standing silently making onigiri over in the cooking area where she was working diligently over her, top of the line oven which always permeated a sparkling sheen which could only be dream about by fellow clean freaks.

"Mikoto-san" I panted, my sandals only barely grinding me to a halt before utter destruction.

She looked up at me with one of her all-knowing motherly expressions that seemed to be contrived to frustrate me.

"Whatever it is Sakura-Chan it can wait till after dinner, help me would you" she questioned cocking her head to the side her raven hair forming a velvet curtain around her ivory complexion.

Well it wasn't as if I had a choice, so I grudgingly helped prepare dinner for the very bastards that put me in this position, remind me to poison their food.

Oh crap that meant mister-I'm-Itachi-I-have-a-pole-rammed-up-my-ass was going to be attending, he was after all Mikoto-san's son and she'd be furious if he didn't come and not even the great Itachi Uchiha is immune to his mothers wrath, no doubt he'd be dead if he was late.

One of the advantages of being one of the most ingenious tacticians in history is knowing when your beaten, Itachi… sadly has realised this.

I only have one word for how this dinner is going to go 'awkward' not that he puts any input into the conversation anyway and if we're oh so lucky to be graced with a response its always 'Hn' guess Sasuke-Baka had to learn how to be an ass from somewhere, and that's another mystery solved by Sakura Haruno the not so ace detective.

Anyway losing my train of thought here,

"**Yeah right a ticket on the crazy train"** my inner chanted I skilfully ignored her existence.

"**What you'd have to be crazy not to want to jump his bones he's ssooooooo fffiiiiiiinnnnnneee" **it was now my turn to chant, ignore her ignore her; I repeated mentally suppressing the urge to kill.

Wait would that be considered suicide?

"**Yes, yes it would" **my inner replied answering my RHETORICAL question.

**"Yeah, yeah I get the message" **and FINALLY she ebbed away deeper into my subconscious maybe forever?

**"I don't think so sweet cheeks"**

Damn, a girl can hope can't she?

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><p><strong>MEANWHILE WITH ITACHI<strong>

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><p>"AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!" yelled a very confused and frustrated Uchiha.<p>

"Shisui I need to handle the situation with the utmost care" Itachi reasoned. "If I am careless and break her heart then not only will the entire of rookie nine be after me but so will Kakashi and my ….. Mother" he explained with a shudder.

"I think that's the longest sentence you ever said" Shisui teased a lazy half-smirk easily sliding across his smug face.

"But seriously she's like your perfect match" he whined childishly puffing out his cheeks.

"She's violent" he continued listing the reasons on his fingers, "Intelligent, brave, loyal, beautiful, strong not to mention she can stomach us Uchiha's and your little brother, that has to be a skill worthy of merit!" he finished with a laugh.

"Violent?" Itachi questioned arching an inquisitive eyebrow; Shisui rolled his eyes of course that would be what piqued his interest. 1

"Yeah well it's pretty obvious you dig that stuff and who would want a weak little girl who can only role on her back and scream for you to save her it's just not your style" Shisui finished, mentally of course he was chanting 'slam dunk!'

"But that ridiculously, frivolous note….." Itachi trailed off deep in thought.

"Oh yeah Sasuke, Naruto and the rest of the gay brigade wrote it I heard Sakura beating them to a bloody pulp this morning, it's strange you didn't notice the cataclysmic destruction. Hmm you really have been distracted." muttered an enlightened Shisui who had developed a sudden interested in his cuticles.

"What" Itachi ground out in a dark tone and giving Shisui a glare that shot fear into the bravest shinobi's hearts and underwear.

There was always a calculated try cleaning boom after one of Itachi's moods.

A lesser man would have tossed his cookies and ran but not Shisui he just shrugged it off like a good friend, (or maybe he was and even lesser man just the 'less' was located in his skull, but whatever the reason was, it is what makes their friendship work so well). 2

"So what are you going to do now?" Shisui inquired, already knowing and relishing in the subliminal answer.

"I think I'm going to kill Sasuke and Naruto" Itachi answered standing up to push in his chair and with fleet footed silence left.

"That's not what I meant and you know it" Shisui called cupping his hand over his mouth to shout it down the hall.

"Hn" Itachi replied using the Uchiha's universal answer for everything.

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><p><strong>WITH SAKURA<strong>

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><p>We put the dinner on the table I was practically salivating, it looked so very delectable but we had to wait for the others and by other I meant traitorous bastards whom i called my friends.<p>

Just as Fugaku-samma walked in Sasuke and Naruto shuffled in behind him using him as a human shield once they noticed I was joining them for dinner.

They hesitantly sat at the table when Mikoto-san gave them _the look_.

When they sat down the caught the scent of the food, Naruto was using all of his self restraint to not eat the food before him and even though he didn't look it so was Sasuke.

I caught both of their gazes with mine, I led their wide eyes down at the food and back up giving the I-just-poisoned-your-food look they both paled, chalk another one up on the mental black board for Sakura.

Then we were finally graced with Itachi's presence (note heavy sarcasm).

With cat-like grace (or weasel-like) he took his seat carefully surveying everyone at the table with calculating eyes his gaze momentarily halted at me, his charcoal eyes flickering with a hint of emotion but it evaded grasp like smoke.

As I noticed this slight change in character Mikoto-san unknown had to and was suppressing an evil grin.

He met my eyes again but quickly averted his.

_Oh so that's how we're gonna play it, you want to play hard ball! well I can play hard ball just you watch Uchiha just you watch, Don't mess with a Haruno!_

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><p>Review! Review! Review! Please! Exclamation point!<p>

2(A/N 'friendship is like peeing yourself everyone can see it but only you get the warm feeling it brings' I heart that quote)

1(A/N I love how he ignored the gab at Sasuke and being an Uchiha).


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